American Horror Story

I know it's not a movie. But I'm starting to feel like some shows are so powerful, they're like really long movies.

I was originally very skeptical about "American Horror Story" for two reasons:

1) I don't normally watch horror movies. The Conjuring and The Cabin in the Woods piqued my interest.

2) The show is made by Brad Falchuk and Ryan Murphy-- the makers of "Glee". I'm open minded, but an ex-girlfriend tried to get me into "Glee" some years ago and it just wasn't happening.

Still, "Breaking Bad" just ended, and as I was thirsting for another gritty, hypnotic show, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. So I started watching the first season of AHS and fell for it instantly. The extent to which the show would go in revealing horrifying scenarios was unparalleled. The haunting intro, the twists, even the way the camera spun were all elements that worked toward making arguably the scariest show on television.

Season one was fantastic. It was set in L.A., based on a struggling marriage, mentally shattered youth, conniving neighbors, and a haunted house. There was just enough mystery to keep you wanting more, with an "Oh shit" moment almost every episode. Most shows (in my experience) don't have that effect because they're just not compelling enough. I didn't even know they can show what they showed on t.v.

Uhhhhhhh... hi.

Season two was even better! It was set in a Catholic asylum in the 1960's. They tackled all sorts of serious social issues of the time including homophobia, war, segregation, all of which are oppressive and controversial enough already without characters being held in captivity while having to fight demons. There were so many good twists in this season that I, a guy who gets bored of most "good" media, couldn't wait to see the next episode. There were "Oh shit" moments multiple times per episode. Just to give you an idea of how immersive it was, they play a french song for the asylum inmates. They play that song over, and over, and over again. It's insane.

Then there's James Cromwell-- the freakiest guy in the world.

Unfortunately, they decided to make season three about witches. Here's why that was a bad idea: Seasons one and two were good because they were about ordinary people trying to survive their environments. They were constantly looking for a way out of nightmarish places. That's horror... reminds me of my time in Florida.

Not only is the concept not scary, the execution was lackluster. Here's the premise: Four witches are recruited into a "Coven" (which is really just a big, empty sorority house). They literally have no agenda but to slowly learn more magic (See Harry Potter). They each have a unique power (See X-Men), but often talk about getting all the powers so that one of them can become the next "Supreme" (The leader of their dumb group).

Almost every time a witch dies, she just comes back. Sometimes it's with a spell, but they usually don't even explain it. She'll just show up in the next episode with some throwaway line like "Guess who's back, bitches?" and start eating soup with the girl who just killed her. Is this a contract fulfillment thing? Did the writers have a plan for the season or did they drunkenly write each episode week by week, overlooking contradictions? Who knows?

I think the idea of witches would have worked if the show wasn't centered on the witches, but regular people in the town being terrorized by the coven. It could have been about one family, or separate stories that eventually led to an epic finale in which the townsfolk either vanquished or got vanquished by the witches. Instead, it ended with some stupid Goblet of Fire tournament where they all were "tested" to see who has all the powers... yeah.

That's how I felt by the end.

Were there still some freaky moments in season three? Sure. There was an emotional scene near the end of episode nine. There were some decent WTF moments throughout the show, but none of it compared to the fright and taboo of the first two seasons. Fingers crossed that season four will be bold and compelling like the first two. We're all rooting for you, FX.