Jurassic World

"CGI" is an acronym for "Computer-Generated Imagery", which is the weird, slime-like special effect used for almost every creature and far-fetched environment in modern cinema.

Bootleg Jurassic Park Jurassic World suffers from gross amounts of CGI, to the point where the entire movie is rendered meaningless.

That's not to say I didn't enjoy it. I did. Chris Pratt was hilarious as Andy Dwyer from "Parks and Rec", imagining a world of CGI dinosaurs chasing him and his wife April Ludgate, I mean Aubrey Plaza, I mean the obligatory love interest played by Jessica Chastain, I mean-- Bryce Howard!... Bryce! DALLAS! Howard!

See? Hollywood's not too confusing.

So, Star-Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy teams up with Lady in the Water and they run from slimy, weightless dinosaurs that look less realistic than the dinosaurs from 25 years ago. They do this for 2 hours and then they live happily ever after.

I'm not saying you shouldn't see it. I'm just saying Jurassic World lacked real moments of tension because the CGI made this "dinosaurs on the loose" story feel more like "Roger Rabbit" than a believable disaster scenario.

Yeah, that looks real.

Look at this rehearsal footage from the original film. They used real puppets and animatronics for a lot of the movie because those are things that can (and must) interact with the cast, crew. This translates well to the screen because they feel tangible. And they feel tangible because they are!

All I'm saying is this-- if you're going to make a movie, really make that movie. CGI is tough, and I respect that, but there is a time and place for everything. I'm well aware that the original Jurassic Park used CGI, but the level of obviously fake creatures in Jurassic World was way too over-the-top.

Anyway, what do I know? I've never made a Jurassic movie. 

And before you ask, yeah, I'm excited for Jurassic World 2.